As you may have heard, Elin Nordegren (Tiger Woods’ ex-wife) recently bought a $12 million Florida mansion. She then promptly had it demolished.
No, Tiger wasn’t in it. And, turns out, she had a good reason – termites. The 1920s mansion was crawling with them and it was beyond repair.
Here’s the house before the wrecking crew got a hold of it:
Beautiful! But, not so lovely when it’s being chomped at by creepy crawly creatures, I’m sure.
It turns out Elin saw the beauty in the home too and she has decided to build a close replica of it on the property – that means nine bedrooms, two kitchens, two Jacuzzis, a pool cabana and a three-bedroom guest house.
My dear Elin…may I offer some suggestions for filling your lovely new space? By the way, I’m available to move into the guest house at anytime.
Recommendation number one, an in-home lazy river. Your first thought might be, “Why would anyone need this?” Just hang with me for a second. You are not just anyone. You are a woman with the ability to tear down a $12 million mansion and start a new one in its place, all in the span of a couple of weeks. If you can’t have a lazy river in your house, who can? Plus, it’d a real time saver when traveling from kitchen to kitchen. It’s simple logistics, really.
Speaking of kitchens, plural. Make one of them your show kitchen. You know, the pretty cake that gets the bride-and-groom topper, not the hardworking sheet cake behind the caterers’ cart. Because if you’re going to have two kitchens, why not? Who cares if this one doesn’t contain “plates,” or “silverware” or “food.” This one is impressive. And nobody tears down and rebuilds a $12 million mansion to blend into the shadows.
And, then…let’s just behold the wonder that is this closet. Can it really even be called a closet if it has its own telephone? One of these clothing palaces is obviously necessary in each of the nine bedrooms. A girl’s got to see what her attire options are for all activities, whether it’s bulldozing or floating through the dining room.
So there you go Elin – a little help from me to you. Hopefully you’ll take it to heart. And seriously, the guest house will be just fine for me.
Got any suggestions for Elin’s dream home? Leave them in the comments or link to Pinterest!